The Big SFNBAFD Running Diary – Part IV
by Homer Simmons
And finally we are back. I know you are desperately waiting for these columns (ok, probably not) and I know that there is nothing better than writing about a fantasy draft in an internet forum during summer (oh yes, that is exactly the kind of guy I am!). Anyway, we are back with Round 4 and Round 5 in one column. Yes, you may applaud now.
In the meantime it seems that some people really read these columns, as some dude told me I have no clue (apparently he never read a column before) about off-the-ball wing players and Joe Johnson (or at least that is what I gathered). Anyway, his name was something like “IRONICus D. Kahn”, so we won’t bother anymore I guess. Talking about horrible wing players:
Pick 49 (Sefant77): Stephen Jackson
Westbrook, Jackson, Smith, Love. Eff’You Mode deluxe. I rest my case.
Pick 50 (Vash): Jason Kidd
Finally someone picks Kidd. Was Vash the only one seeing that J-Kidd even defended LeBron during the finals? Oh…that was in the fourth quarter? Sorry, I didn’t say anything. Seriously, Kidd is still one of the most intelligent players out there and an underrated defender. Good choice as your point guard this late in the draft.
Pick 51 (Sm0ke): Emeka Okafor
Smoke gets a guy to do all the dirty stuff in case Gasol 2008 or Gasol 2011 shows up. OK, if Gasol 2011 ‘shows up’ Okafor won’t help but he got a good defender after grabbing offensive weapons for two rounds. Understandable.
Pick 52 (Mango): Kyle Lowry
Lowry, Odom, Garnett, Duncan. Hmm. I love every player on this team but seriously, it’s only a cool thing to hold your opponent below 60 Points if you can make 50 yourself. Seriously.
Pick 53 (cudi): Shawn Marion, Pick 54 (madferit): Elton Brand, Pick 55 (Mav007): David West
Forward-Time! Cudi gets a do-it-all forward with excellent defense to complement his offensive weapons, madferit continues to build on the worst defensive team in basketball history (Mango struggles to score 50, madferit will struggle to keep his opponent under 150. In the first half) and Mav007 gets a steal again. Does he place a Voodoo charm on the other ‘General Managers’ or what? Anyway, uniting CP3 and David West in this game is a nice thing, picking a borderline all-star at 55 (!) even nicer
Pick 56 (bigdog8): Devin Harris
Team Bigdog gets a Point Guard to perfectly complement his team…another guy who is definitely not ‘Pass-first’ and loves to isolate. Right, that is going to work next to Melo, Zach and Nene. At least he has one above average defender now.
Pick 57 (Bulls 4ever): Marcin Gortat
Gortat is an underrated player, but he cannot shoot as well. Rondo, Griffin and Gortat on the same floor? The word ‘spacing’ was not invented by this team, that’s for sure.
Pick 58 (Fuffie): Chauncey Billups
Fuffie gets a veteran leader and shooter next to the Shooting Guard that won two championships with Derek Fisher as his Backcourt-Partner. Sounds like a plan, right?
Pick 59 (G-SUS): Ron Artest
Metta World Peace and Andre Iguodala is definitely the best defensive Wing-Duo of this league and might crack the Top 5 of all time, but this team will struggle to score efficiently, I tell you. Oh, and Artest will probably kill Al Jefferson during a game. Not that Al Jefferson would care. At least I guess he doesn’t care about anything (what are you saying? He only doesn’t give a flying **** about the game we love so much? Damn)
Pick 60 (Irenicus): Paul Millsap
David gets Paul Millsap, another underrated Power Forward in this League. Seriously, how many of those do we have by now? It’s incredible. But perhaps this is heavily related to the fact that all those underrated Power Forwards really don’t play defense
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Pick 61 (NightHawk): Arron Afflalo and Pick 62 (The_Gr8): Grant Hill
Team NightHawk will create tons of space with Durant and that Parker/Gasol Pick and Roll and needs a defender to hide Kevin Durant on that side. Afflalo is the sexy choice here I would say. But honestly, I would take Grant Hill in a heartbeat. Veteran Leader, knows how to win, decent defender…wait…he plays for the commish? What a rubbish pick. Almost as bad as Danny Granger.
Pick 63 (Rainmaker): Brook Lopez
Rainmaker missed out on his buddy Dwight so he takes the next best dominant ‘Defender’ and ‘Rebounder’ available….sorry, I ran out of jokes here, seriously. Brook Lopez is like the anti-Dennis Rodman. And not in the good way.
Pick 64 (Barea): Luis Scola and Pick 65 (Barea): Jrue Holiday
Holiday – Martin – Deng – Scola – Howard
Sorry for the repetition, but who on earth is going to score for them in the 4th quarter? Jrue Holiday? This team will be splendid for three quarters, it has everything: Defense, Veterans, Shooting, Passing. But the 4th will be ugly.
Pick 66 (Rainmaker07): Tony Allen and Pick 67 (The_Gr8): Wesley Matthews
Rainmaker picks up a wing defender after picking two horrible interior defenders. And he also seems to plan to put LeBron at the ‘Point’. The question remains: Did he watch the finals? The commish gets a decent wing to round out his starting five. Anyway, I hate that team.
Pick 68 (NightHawk): Serge Ibaka and Pick 69 (Irenicus): James Harden
The young thunder get picked together. Team NightHawk picks a dominant shot-blocker who should put fear into his opponents once combined with the younger Gasol. The Irenicus Terrorwolves pick up their third wing player and claim that he can play Point Guard. Let me tell you something: If your wing player handles the ball because your Point Guard is Russell Westbrook, it doesn’t automatically mean that he can ‘play the point’. It only means that your Point Guard is Russell Westbrook.
Pick 70 (G-SUS): Andrea Bargnani and Pick 71 (Fuffie): Samuel Dalembert
Two team that desperately need another big for their Starting Five pick exactly that. G-SUS now boasts the defensive supercombo of Al Jefferson and Andrea Bargnani which at least means that Boozer/Lopez is not the worst Defensive combo among big men in this league. Oh, and G-SUS has at least one guy who can consistently make that three point shot. Fuffie on the other hand now boasts a starting five of Billups – Bryant – Wallace – Horford – Dalembert. Not too shabby, right? Although there might be as many as two centers I would have picked before good ol’ Sam.
Pick 72 (Bulls 4ever): Dorrell Wright, Pick 73 (bigdog8): Nicolas Batum Pick 74 (Mav007): Tayshaun Prince and Pick 75 (madferit): Thabo Sefolosha
Four teams that need another wing player and all of them get exactly what they want…an average wing for their starting five. Let’s move on, quickly.
Pick 76 (cudi): DeAndre Jordan
And cudi gets the steal of round 5! Jordan is an imposing specimen with good defense, rebounding and great hands, exactly the type of player you want next to your Williams-Aldridge Pick and Roll. Seriously, fantastic job to assemble a Williams – Gordon – Marion – Aldridge – Jordan unit with those low picks. This team has everything you need: Defense, Scoring, Rebounding, Passing. OK, it lacks a Celtic, but you can’t have everything.
Pick 77 (Mango): Jason Richardson and Pick 78 (Sm0ke): Caron Butler
And two more wings for two more teams that lack a secondary wing. OK, Mango still lacked a primary wing, but what can you do? Seriously, as much as this hurts, when your top three offensive weapons are KG, Timmy and J-Rich that might cause certain problems.
Pick 79 (Vash): Rodney Stuckey
Vash gets his designated 8th man in Round 5. Ooops, did I just type that?
Pick 80 (Sefant77): Anderson Varejao
Westbrook – Jackson – Smith – Love – Varejao. Just look at this team. I love it. If sefant does not win this league there is something wrong in the United Nations of Sportforen. Seriously.