Retro Diary of the 9th pick in the Draft - An actual account of a five minute decision that took two hours, two minutes and two seconds
6:58 p.m. -- GM Bigdog8 realizes that it's his turn to draft, after GM Bulls 4ever failed to draft a player in time. Oh, he didn't? He drafted someone? Blake Griffin? In the first round? On 8? Someone should have told him that this is not the 2009 NBA Draft or that he is allowed to draft players with experience.
7:13 p.m. -- Bigdog8 is still unsure who to pick. Most GMs usually have two or three players on their mind when they are on the clock, not Bigdog, he has a list that is longer than Andre Agassis wig in the nineties. Did I say wig? I meant hair, Andre Agassis wig. Damn it! Did it again.
7:37 p.m. -- Twitter is exploding! Latest rumor is that Bigdog8 is "looking into the possibility of reuniting Nash and Amare". I don't know what to say to that. Even my wife knows that he only has one pick. Hell, even my daughter is aware of that.
7:51 p.m. -- My dad calls me, thinks that it wasn't a good idea to broadcast the whole draft live on ESPN. Says he wasn't that bored watching TV since the remote broke a few years ago and he had to endure C-Span for three hours.
8:04 p.m. -- Just when I decide to switch the channel and watch Celebrity Rehab, Bigdog8 finally makes a decision. He will draft a point guard! We all know how that turned out in the end...
8:41 p.m. -- Williams or Paul? The age old question. At this point, I don't think that anyone cares anymore. JUST MAKE A DECISION!!! I haven't waited this long for something to end ever since Lord of the Rings Part III.
8:44 p.m. -- David Stern is so bored that he starts counting his money to find out how big his salary is.
8:46 p.m. -- Iverson declares for Sportforen.de NBA Fantasy Draft. Bulls 4ever starts praying for bigdog8 to draft AI, which would make the Griffin-Pick look somewhat decent again. Actually, no it wouldn't.
8:57 p.m. -- David Stern is done counting his money. He walks over to bigdog, almost trips over several GMs that lie on the floor sleeping and tells him in a Godfather/Sopranos kind of way that he should make a decision now or he will make one for him.
9:00 p.m. -- Bigdog8 goes eff you mode 47 on all of us and explains that after considering the possibility of drafting several point guards for the last two hours, he will know draft Carmelo Anthony. A small forward. I'm going to run in traffic now.