"I left the game just over a year ago and thought I would share a little bit of my story throughout the next while in case someone is feeling shame towards their anxiety. You are not alone," Koekkoek wrote. "I left the game because my life inside of it had gotten to a place that was unbearable and unhealthy towards my mental health. I would say I played a majority of my professional games without the ability to eat much, if anything, the night before and the day of games.
"Hockey Night in Canada on a completely empty stomach? Let’s do this, I guess. Anxiety shows up in all shapes and forms, one of the ways mine did was the inability to eat. I would get comments from teammates saying ‘hey Kooks you know the meals are free’ due to my weight dwindling, without them knowing the pain I was going through. I would hear from GMs and coaches that I needed to put on weight if I was to battle in the corners with the elite of the league not to mention the energy needed to complete these tasks as well. That just put on increased pressure."